Lily, sirius, mermaids
by Baroonmlk
Summary: Where particular sixth years come upon realisations.


As soon as the bell sounded in lily's ears, she started stuffing her possessions in her hand bag in a very hurried manner. She was nearly gasping for air, and she knew well that this reaction of her body had nothing to do with the fact the dungeons were windowless. She fumbled something as an excuse to her confused friends, and hastily made her way out into the crowded corridors. She had no idea where she was heading, just kept going, until she felt the cool grass under her as she sat down. She didn't miss the sarcasm that the place bore for her, and as she gazed aimlessly at the shining water of the lake, she saw flashbacks in her mind, so clear and unmistakable, as if she were watching a film. The recollection was still too fresh, and she unconsciously winced at the memory. She remembered the gloomy evening she had had. The weather was no different to today's warm one. Lily and her friends had only been back from the transfiguration O.W.L, all feeling relieved that the pressure of the exam was no longer weighing on their shoulders. The sky had been blue, and lily had simply been grateful for everything. She had departed from her friends, who were a few feet away from her, with their school shoes kicked off somewhere near them, enjoying the wonderful feeling that cold water of the lake had on their bare feet. on lily's lap laid the book she had long since forgotten as she suddenly had the irresistible urge to lay back on the sweet smelling grass and take in the simplicity of everything at that precious, uncomplicated moment. She remembered how cruelly she had been proven wrong, too. How she had looked around to see what was all the noise about that was interrupting her peace, and how she had only got to her feet out of curiosity tainted with suspicion, still a bit light headed from all the glee. The more she thought about the event, the more details came showering to her mind. She realized now that she might or might not have heard Darcy call her name a few times, and she could very well see how everyone near the chaos had moved to give her a way to get to the center of the circle that had been shaped around five particular students whom lily hadn't been surprised to see at all. What she saw back then was the marauders and a miserable but obviously disgusted Severus who seemed to have lost his wand and was rather desperate, so she didn't even pause to reach for her wand, soon had it pulled out and pointed at potter. She almost remembered the fury somehow tickled the tips of her fingers. she had shouted firmly something along the lines _"leave him alone!"_. Lily remembered the smug smile of James potter suddenly changing into a slight frown only for a few seconds, but it wasn't a long lived expression, as it again changed into a daring upward twist of lips. When he had so casually mattered those familiar words _"all right, Evans?"_, she had been even more infuriated if possible, and had been so inexplicably offended about how carelessly he had asked her out at such situation because Merlin knew he didn't miss a chance, did he? Lily could remember some vague dialogues revolving the bullying toe rag and the giant squid, and how she had insisted so hard that the marauders leave poor Severus alone. She now realized there was indeed no reason to pity him at all. She could remember well enough how the slytherin had been embarrassingly floated up into the air, how she had been on the verge of hexing said marauders, preferably starting by potter, before shouting once again to leave him alone. But then again, life stabs you in the back in circumstances you don't expect to be betrayed at all, and lily was no exception. The last thing she remembered was how potter had finally decided to let go of Severus, and how she had felt a bit confident that the affair had ended at the very least, but life is just so humorous sometimes, because Severus had shouted something lily was quite certain she would never be able to forget. He had mercilessly, angrily, and quite exasperatedly shouted _"I don't need help from filthy little mudbloods like her!",_ and somehow the world had seemed to sunk around lily. She had felt a bit dizzy as the words started to sink in, and she had wondered if anyone could hear the sound of their heart shattering into pieces just the way she did at that moment. Although she had a really nice memory and certainly a thorough recollection of the event, she couldn't remember anything more than that. She had been told of some things she had said, and how horrified her friends had been because she had looked so… so cool. They had rather been expecting a different kind of reaction, something more genuine, but lily had been so cool as if none of it really mattered. But she knew now that it did matter. Maybe she had acted calm and okay, but mostly she had been so distressed _inside_, and she wasn't quite certain if she had ever recovered fully.

These were the thought that made lily pretty occupied at the grounds at the time. She thought miserably of the hard time she had had in class, and the whole reason that made her run away so quickly. She winced somehow as she thought how unfair and horrible it was that they had been forced to have potions with the slytherin house. Sure, she knew that all the houses were bound to have same class periods with each other, but she had somehow illogically had her fingers crossed that Dumbledore would somehow change his mind in the new coming year. She had been extremely disappointed to find out that her wish was not fulfilled, and was horrified internally over the double potions they had with slythrins on Tuesday. It was not as if she afraid of any one of those prejudiced selfish prats who glanced mockingly at her ever so often or threatened her and her kind in whispers, or anything. Lily wouldn't let them get under her skin. It was only the presence of one particular slytherin whom lily was afraid to encounter, and somehow irritatingly, that particular slytherin had managed to stumble upon her path as much as possible. Ever since lily had stepped onto the Hogwarts express, severus had followed her either with his eyes or on foot, and had so very inexhaustibly tried to make her talk to him, and it only made lily feel even worse about how she had officially ended their friendship back in fifth year. Lily had a soft heart, and unfortunately, Severus knew her quite well, so he hadn't given up on being close to her again. That was why he had picked up on tailing lily, and why he used every unexpected opportunity to apologize her, come what may. He had obviously tried to get her to talk to her before the class began, and although lily had pushed his apologies away, she couldn't quite disregard his pleading glances at her throughout the whole period of the class.

But lily wasn't stupid, and if there was any evolutionary realization she had came upon through the years, it was her kind nature. She knew well that she couldn't possibly ignore severus forever, because she didn't really have the heart to. This certainly scared her a great deal, since she didn't want anything similar to last year's incident to happen to her, for it had been difficult to live down, and she really didn't know how many other unpleasant occurrences she could survive.

The nearing sounds of footsteps brought lily rather suddenly back to the present time, and she looked back to see who was coming in her direction, when she saw a very calm Sirius black came striding down towards her. He plopped down beside her silently, and gazed resolutely at the scene ahead. Lily looked at him somewhat expectantly, but after a few seconds gave up on getting any further explanations, and looked back at the lake herself.

"Do you ever wonder if there are actually mermaids down there?" Sirius inquired commonly after a while, not turning his eyes back from the blue.

"Hmm?"

"Do you think there are actual mermaids down in the lake? I've never seen one, neither have I ever come upon anyone who has witnessed them."

"I… um, why do you ask?"

"Just curious. I don't think there are any, though. It's just probably another story told to overdramatize the whole idea of Hogwarts being all great and fantastic. Nearly everything is, really."

Lily didn't respond, though, and Sirius, as oblivious as he could be sometimes, got the impression that she was annoyed, so he prompted on, "you think I'm wrong."

"I do." She said softly.

"why?"

"I think you're being ignorant."

When Sirius didn't say anything, she went on; "I believe the only reason we're brought to this world is because the universe wants to be noticed, and who are we to say it doesn't deserve the attention? You can't possibly assume everything's just… pretentious or something, because it's not. As long as you insist on being ignorant, you won't be able to observe the ups and downs of the train ride you're on. You can't let your sour mood get you down like this each time, Sirius, because someday you'll reach the end of the ride without actually having enjoyed it."

He said nothing for some time, his eyes drifting to the skies above as he laid down on his back, his hands under his head. He closed his eyes, feeling the cool breeze dance gently on his cheeks, and quite to himself, he mumbled, "that's why."

"hmm?"

"that's why, lily. For years I've wondered why prongs was all after you, because deep down I had always hoped we would only get old to be some charming aged bachelors who wink at twenty year old pretty girls passing by. But also I always knew you always matched. Like… when you pour the ketchup on chips and you think, "this certainly matches." It's in times like this when I realize the prat has been right about you all along, that you really worth all the struggle. "

Sirius opened one of his eyes to gauge lily's reaction to his words, but she was still wordlessly staring at the lake, her hands around her feet, her head rested on her knees.

What lily was marveling was how sarcastic the universe could be sometimes, and as she closed her eyes and laid back beside sirius, she came upon the realization that maybe, she had been ignorant too. people kept amazing her in ways she never would have expected, and she wondered what else could come along.


End file.
